I’m a dreamer not a hater

Recently, I entered a contest to win a coveted spot of hosting for a week on the the local radio station. The number one morning show in Seattle by Brooke and Jubal. To enter you had to submit a 60 second video and from there the producers would pick the top 10 semifinalists. I managed to get into the top 10 beating out 400 contestants. From there I even made it to the top 5 finalists. Each of the five finalist had a day to be on air, a live audition. I was a wreck, but I kept telling myself “just be you” my studio motto and life mantra. My friends and family texted to the studio and to me that I was doing a great job. I actually started to believe it , relaxed and started having fun. By the time it was over, I was on such a high and smiling from ear to ear. My husband (aka my number one fan) called me from work and congratulated me on doing an amazing job. There’s really nothing better than hearing that from my man. He supports me in whatever I set out to do, but I never get tired of his praises. So when I arrived home, I remembered they put up the contestant photo on the studio facebook page. This is where listeners of the show come to comment. I was eager to check it out for the feedback. But holy mother truckers (made a promise to my husband we don’t swear because we have a 2 year old son that repeats everything) there were over 200 comments. First I thought, wow I’m a hit! Then I made the mistake of actually reading them word for word. Hater grenades in every single comment. Usually, I can take a negative comment and even join in on my self deprecation. I have a korean mom. She’s hated mostly everything I’ve done in my life, but she’s worn me down so much now, anything she says to me is hilarious. She once told me I was getting too fat when I was pregnant and would tell me repeatedly that it’s not normal. “Go ask the doctor, you too big!” Who tells a prego that they are obese? Only my mom. I guess it’s also laughable because deep down I know she means well and she concerns herself with my well being. Even though it definitely doesn’t come out that way. But sitting there in my computer reading comment after comment about how my pitchy voice makes people want to jump off buildings and drown kittens… wow it took me to nasty place. High School. EWWWWW. That feeling of totally not fitting in and being in a hell hole where you think this will be your life forever. I Kim Kd it. You know, ugly cried like a Kim Kardashian. It felt like I took a pummeling. I dragged my feet around for days, it was hard to shake off. But then I started thinking, hey you know what? I wasn’t competing to be on the Voice, haters can suck it. I also started getting feedback from friends and even strangers that they admired me for being so ballsy. Screw the haters, I’m a dreamer and I’m gonna keep on dreaming. As Kanye says (yes I literally googled so many Kanye quotes you don’t even know) “Love your haters, they’re your biggest fans.” It’s true, they get you heated but you just have to channel it. They also can’t take away the fact that I was on air for a whole show. How many people can say they did that in their lifetime? Probably more then I think… but still its one of my biggest accomplishments and I’m not going to let some losers hiding behind a computer take that way from me. Naturally, now I’m onto dreaming bigger things. I decided maybe radio is not the best forum for me. People need to be able to soak me in as a total package. I’m going to dive into stand up comedy. Yup, it’s a brave new world and I’m excited to actually say it out loud. Since I’m a constant dreamer, I’ll make one of my dreams a goal to work towards. You ready for this? My goal is to be on Chelsea Lately one day and meet her in person and be sitting with her on the round table and be able to tell jokes. I’d also just settle for filling in for Chuy. He has my dream job. Why her? Because she’s not afraid to be obnoxious, loud and mother truckin hilarious. For so much of my life my mom tried to mold me like a good Korean girl should be, but I’m not made of that stuff. I laughed, talked and walked too loud. Apparently I giver her head aches and embarrass her, but sorry mom can’t help it. It’s just who I am. Chelsea Handler is all the things I am but she’s sorry not sorry. She gives girls (is it weird that i refer myself as a “girl” when I’m 32? what is the age cut off for referring to oneself as “girl”? total side note) like me strength to own who we are. So my haters keep on hating, cuz I’m a dreamer and I’m gonna keep on dreamin!


p.s. note to self remember to buy this phone case immedately

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Back to School…

So it’s time for back to school for my kids. By my kids I mean the seniors I’ve been photographing all summer long. It’s been a couple of crazy months photographing them everyday, I can’t believe it’s that time already. For some reason though, it looked like I was dressing for my first day of school. And as if I was really getting the back to school jitters, I was having an awkward moment. The hair wasn’t doing what I wanted, makeup was eh and I just wasn’t feeling IT. But sometimes you just have to roll with it. That feels like the story of my life right now. My balance is all off since our little Gavin does not like for me to sleep. But what can I do he’s adorable, so I’ll still keep him. The shoes I’m wearing is my absolute favorite from New York. I’m terrible with shoes, so I’m already killing it. Literally. Wish I had bought another pair. I love the Badgely Mischka bag but it seriously is the heaviest thing with nothing in it. Those metal pieces really add their weight. Definitely not a baby mama friendly bag. But I like to pull it out once in a while. Anyways, hope the kiddos

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My Ultimate Muse is Here

It’s been a while since I’ve had time to dedicate some time on this blog, but I think it’s time to pick it back up. The last time I had posted our pregnancy photos and I had promised to share my ultimate muse, so here he is Gavin Go Acuario. Or as I like to call him, My Lil Chubbs. This was one of my favorite shoots with my little prince at his 5 months. My hubby and I knew he would be a game changer but he really gives us the run for our money. He had colic (lot of gas/pain) which would make him cry inconsolably and sometimes I just cried with him. He’s grown out of it now (almost 8months) but he can’t sleep through the night without waking up every couple of hours. Poor little guy always looks like he’s being chased by terrible dreams. I haven’t been a good sleeper myself and it makes me sad to wonder if he’s gotten it from me. Now he’s started teething and of course it’s got him on edge. But even with all the tears, sleepless nights and tantrums… he is perfect. I mean how can I be upset when I look at his little croissant stacked thighs, his little man toes and his kissable cheeks? Balancing my life as a working mother has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’ve never been so fulfilled. I love this little man with every breath I own and I hope he will feel the same. Here’s to my Ultimate Muse and our adventures together <3<3<3


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Gavin, My Lil Muse In Me

The absence of my blog posts probably makes this abundantly clear but yes, it’s been quite a hectic time. Balancing work and pregnancy has kept me busy and I finally found a moment and sometimes that is as good as it gets. I never thought when I started this blog that I would get to a point where I would literally have a ‘muse’ inside of me. This muse, our first child, a boy named Gavin. It’s all too surreal. My husband and I are waiting his arrival and it could be any day now as I am in my 40th week. We were just kids when we met 10 years ago and here we are preparing to have our first kid together, what a blessing. It’s so crazy to think that this little guy who has captivated me with his movements, contorting my stomach from side to side will be joining us in the real world. He’ll be a big part of everything I do and now this blog will be an adventure I get to share with him. So here’s to 2012 and looking forward to you, Gavin.

These photos were taken by our photographer friend Kirk Tran and a couple shots of me taken by my hubby ๐Ÿ™‚



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Photo shoot starring Lux

By occupation, I am a photographer and really it’s been my calling for as long as I can remember. I think lot of my thoughts are in still images and it’s sometimes the only language that makes sense. I’m pretty booked on a regular basis with portrait sessions and I feel blessed to have a job that I love. So I had a real treat to work my creative juices into a photo session with a local band Lux. I’ve actually known Leah the female member from our high school days, how time flies. Leah and David are working on putting their first full length album for Lux. If you want to check out their sound and help them kickstart their album just click on Lux. You can also check out their facebook page and show them some love.

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In less than 9 months…

It’s been a while since I have had time to catch up on the blog. We were gone traveling to Korea for a month, than a last minute trip to LA and coming back home with work piled up, it’s been crazy. Add to the mix is my little bun in the oven. Yes, the hubby and I were trying for a little one and we were surprised before our trip. This will be an amazing year for us. After 10 years of dating (I still count our dating anniversary) andย  it will be 3 years of marriage, we feel truly blessed. Of course being the total dorks that we are, we felt obliged to share with our family and friends with a little song number. It’s not like we have Beiber Fever, but the song “Baby” was our first thought for obvious reasons. Hence a little youtube video was born to embarrass our little one someday. Little did we know that our friends and family loved it so much they would share it so enthusiastically, it ended up on the tastefully offensive blog which led to a post on tosh.0. So our video now has had over 70,000 hits and of course with all the love, there were a lot of haters to come around. But who cares about them? We feel blessed of our growing family and we were thankful for all the kind words. Yes, this is not so much about fashion, but there definitely is a”muse” in me ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope that I can keep the blog up even in the midst of our big change. I’m not sure if I can pull off the prego look, but here’s to trying! Oh and if you would like to take a look, here’s the video too haha.

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That Summer in Italy…

I can’t believe it’s taken me a year to post about this but here it is… that summer in Italy. Just about this time last year, my good friend Diane and I planned an spur of the moment trip to Europe. It was beyond words amazing. These photos are in no particular order… just to recap some events. We climbed 463 steps up to the top of the Duomo, ate ice cream, watched a flash mob on the spanish steps, visited St Peter’s Basilica, shopped till the store owners gave us evil eyes about closing time, snuck photos of David’s fine derriere, drank absinthe with some strangers, photo op around the Colosseum, joined the herds of people to sit down for the greetings with the Pope and tossed our coins into the Trevi Fountain to just name a few things. The video is from the mass we were able to attend with the pope. This tribe from Africa had traveled to see the Pope and performed a dance for him. Pretty amazing and I was lucky enough to share it with a great friend, the lovely Diane. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be heading out to another epic trip. This time with the hubby to the motherland, South Korea. Haven’t been there in 10 years, but looking forward to the experience with my husband which will be his first time! But before that, I somehow have to get all my work done. I wish those “easy” buttons from the Staples commercials were real…

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